What is “ego”, and is it a good or a bad thing?
We often associate ego with selfishness and unkindness, but…ego seems to be related to how we perceive our own essence, and if that is the case, it is probably necessary- how can you keep yourself alive, if you are not upholding your very core?
And another paradox: just as you’ve finally learnt “how to be you”, the attention starts focusing on other people; do you agree with Carl?
The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.
-Carl Jung
The third contradiction: whilst we hold our ego dear, we are allowing it to be so fragile that anyone can have a go at cracking it:
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
-Marcus Aurelius
Is ego affected by gender? Many would agree that male ego is more fragile than the female one.
Typically, a man would be upset if his great accomplishments are not known to anyone, whilst most of women would be happy to “just get the job done”.
On the other hand, 2 males could have a bloody fight and shake hands afterwards bearing no grudges whatsoever; as for us, ladies?? One awkward word could be enough to ruin a friendship.
And also.. the dazzling, powerful A type personality man’s ego could be shattered if struck by a feather.. yet a quiet, unassuming sort of man might hold his own so much better- contradictions!!
Spiritual leaders advice us to forgo the ego by raising to the higher plane of consciousness, where all of us are “one”.
Ego-consciousness sees ourselves as separated beings, or fragments, that relate to other fragments in terms of efforts to obtain some advantage…if we let go of ego, we unite with others.
-Beatrice Bruteau
Beatrice herself admits though, that loving one’s neighbour, as she advocates above, is something humans “simply cannot do”. However, she offers a solution:
First, relax the ego defences by accepting Gods unconditional sustaining love.
Second, enter into Trinitarian life of shared personal love energies.
Third, manifest that life by incarnating it in the world.
What about those people who are either not religious or have not succeeded yet in “ accepting Gods unconditional love” despite their regular worshipping activities?
My vote goes to Rumi:
I long to escape the prison of my ego and lose myself in You.
-Rumi