In every culture and in any century, daughters are usually closer to their fathers than to their mothers. Just take a look at a family photo album! More often than not, a little girl is sat next to her dad, with mum at the periphery of the photo.
“Daddy’s little girl”… and “mother’s daughter”- even the words we tend to use are telling.
When a girl grows up, her relationship with father tends to remain peaceful and harmonious, whilst her interactions with mother are often a challenge.
Why do you think this is? There are possibly a few explanations.
As a rule of thumb, relationship between a man and a woman is easier than a relationship between two women. “Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
Also, a little girl could be seen as an essence of femininity: she is soft mannered and vulnerable, requires care and protection. In relation to her, the father is an essence of masculinity: he gets to feel strong with her, protect her and care for her, which she willingly accepts. Her needs and his preferred behaviour are therefore reciprocal. Lastly, from evolutionary point of view, what is considered an “incest” during normal course of life, could become a tool that ensures “survival of the species” during eco-catastrophe, for example..
Whilst there are many examples of beautiful love and friendship between mothers and daughters too, those are not easy to develop. When exist, its because two women managed to overcome the natural contrary tendencies between them (mother and daughter they might be, but they are “two women” all the same). A wife could feel that her husband’s time and attention has shifted from her to his daughter. Her daughter’s youthful beauty could feel like an unflattering contrast to the ageing mother.
As the girl grows up, she will want to be independent and practice being “the woman of the house”; it would require a lot of tact, kindness and diplomacy from her mother to establish healthy boundaries in this respect.
If we understand the natural tendencies in family dynamics, will it help us to both develop and maintain peace and harmony within our families?